Moan for me like Helen Keller
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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