call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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