I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
