Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
