She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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