My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
