5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
