So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I licked your asshole in confidence.