I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.