Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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