You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
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i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
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Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.