one two three fourrrrnication!
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
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Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
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