Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
