and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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