somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize