All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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