its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
