can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
