Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We just shotgunned beers for America
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
