I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
