Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
