why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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