This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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