I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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