it's too hot outside to masturbate.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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