My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize