Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
