You work out of a Hotel?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Why can't burritos get me drunk
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
