Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
