no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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