24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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