You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
