she looked like the bat from fern gully.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
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Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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