How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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