hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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