like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
