apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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