About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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