Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
