I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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