New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
