You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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