He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
