Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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