doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
