True but thats because hes a fetus.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
