Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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