its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
