didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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