how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
