I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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