So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
