shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
