She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
