Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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