just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
