Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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