Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
