lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
