I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
