At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
