saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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