I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
