I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
