Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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