how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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