So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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