wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
