names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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