oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
