Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
