I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I deserve this hangover.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
