you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
